Special Edition: Guest Post #1 Todd Weighs In

June 25, 2009 § 6 Comments

Could there be a better follow up to my Prada’s?

Day 527.5: Work Shoes

Work-a-day shoes, complete with office chair and gaggle of wires in the background

Work-a-day shoes, complete with office chair and gaggle of wires in the background

Background: Sara is my sister-in-law, I’m married to Jennifer, Sara’s oldest sister.  I’ve been enjoying Sara’s Pair Diem web site and thought it would be fun to share a male software engineer’s equivalent.  Enjoy!

These shoes get worn to the office every day (except occasionally when I think I can get away with swapping with my New Balance running shoes at the last minute, with the wife not seeing, usually in the garage, just before I get into the car).  They are brown.  Not sure who decided brown as the standard color for men’s office shoes, but that is the standard and thus, these are brown.  I work with a bunch of software engineers, we rarely interact or talk to each other (if you don’t count e-mail), and if we do, no one is looking at the other person’s shoes.

Assuming I’ve owned these shoes for 2.5 years (see Date of Purchase), 260 work days a year, subtracting for holidays and vacations (approximately 25 days per year), subtracting for the approximately 2 days a month I’m able to sneak in my New Balance running shoes:
Number of days worn = (2.5 years * 260 days/year) – (2.5 years * 25 days/year) – (2 days/month * 12 months/year * 2.5 years) = 527.5 days

Yes, a half of day.  The math doesn’t lie!

Will continue to be worn per above data until my wife forces me to buy a new pair of brown work shoes.


[provuh-nuhns, -nahns] –noun

place or source of origin: Shoe factory, China.

Date of Purchase: Sometime in the last five years

Circumstances: Some day in the last five years, my wife dragged me to DSW (I think it’s short for “more shoes then you’ve ever seen before in your life – ever!”) indicating that I needed a new pair of shoes for work.  Little explanation was provided, but based on the tone of voice and expression on her face, I knew it best not to question.  Unbelievable, that much square feet dedicated to shoes!  Thank goodness she was with because I was certainly overwhelmed and immediately felt an anxiety attack coming on.  As someone who alphabetizes their CD collection, I found the boxes, racks, and the myriad of darting woman quite overwhelming (I didn’t formally count – didn’t have my lap top with me, but I think I was the only dude in the place except for some guy working the register who for some reason had a flowery scarf around his neck).
Not sure how she knew, but the wife made a b-line for the appropriate men’s shoe section.  I followed, again, not questioning.  She did a quick lap around a couple of aisles, then started to hand me boxes of shoes.  “Put these on!”  I dutifully did as I was instructed.  Each pair was quickly followed with an indiscernible grunt like reaction from the wife.  Something ranging from “hmmmmph” to “uuuuhuh”, depending on the pair.  “Ok, next.”  Again, I quickly did as told, and worked fast.  I’m not sure why, but speed seems to count in this particular store.  Personally, if she wasn’t with, I would have waited for someone to assist, but evidently she wasn’t in the mood for help on this particular day.
I handed boxes back to her, she quickly put them into two piles.  After half dozen or so, I was given a nod that indicated I could put my original shoes back on.  She pushed one of the pile of boxes to the side, quickly reviewed the 2nd pile, opening, peering in, checking the side of the box.  The efficiency with which she did this was impressive.  Reminded me of those old factory worker videos one sees any time the industrial revolution is being discussed.  I considered mentioning that I saw nothing wrong with the shoes that I had just put back on, but thought the better of it.  The end result was one of the boxes handed back to me.
Followed her for a quick loop through the back bowels of the store (they have even more shoes then observed at first glance, these being way in the back, in tight racks, head to toe, no discernable organization, my head was swimming), then to the cash register, some crazy talk about “only 15 more pair until you get one for free”, and we had my new pair of work shoes.

Compliment Meter: If someone at work says anything about clothing, it is definite grounds for a harassment suit.  Operating systems, software, sports, and the kid’s science project are safe conversation subjects.  Shoe confidence level: I know the speed of light, pi to five decimal places, and how to get the flashing lights on the VCR to stop blinking – I’m confident.

Comfort: Why can’t all shoes be as comfortable as my New Balance running shoes?  For that matter, why can’t I just always wear my New Balance running shoes?  Overall, a 7.2568 out of 10.

Worn with: Two rules, or my wife won’t allow me to leave the house; 1.) sock color matches pant color, and 2.) brown belt with these shoes.  Don’t understand these rules, but abide by them in order to be able to get to work on time.

Thoughts: “Thoughts: Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.”

Do these babies stay in the rotation or get dumped into the Shoe Graveyard?


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§ 6 Responses to Special Edition: Guest Post #1 Todd Weighs In

  • kat says:

    Now this is my kind of evaluation!!!

  • Jennifer says:

    FYI, we did start in the designer section but couldn’t find a pair that Todd didn’t think too metrosexual or too uncomfortable.

  • kat says:

    One of the highlights of this is how Todd calls her “the wife” a million times!

  • kat says:

    I’m with you, Todd. I have the same pair of black dansko mary janes that i wear to work literally every day. they are the frumpiest things, but perfect for my purposes. i’ve bought the same pair 4 or 5 times over.

  • kat says:

    I also love the picture. For some reason it reminds me of the huge feet tapping in the intro to “My Three Sons.” Yes, Todd, I’m saying your feet look huge.

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